Six: SpyCo and Rapunzel Archback

When tangible hubris and other related phenomena began to occur, lots of people suspected some type of government conspiracy. After television news and print media all but collapsed, there was virtually no one left to blame the government, except behind closed doors or in lowered voices. As usual, the chief problem with the government was the inability to get out of its own way. Because people were so inclined to disbelieve, the government benefited greatly from no longer appearing on television to deny conspiracy allegations. The more they denied, the more people assumed they were lying. These days, at the very least it seemed incomplete and oversimplified to assume government alone had caused all the problems.

Just the same, some government agencies carried on the kind of scrutiny and surveillance of which they had frequently been accused. One, however, was not quite a government agency. In Two Thousand Something, the government formed a partnership with a private corporation consisting mostly of former operatives; the venture had been named SpyCo. SpyCo was not altogether evil or wholly good and the organization sometimes worked in the government's interests and sometimes against them. Its newest leader, Rapunzel Archback, seemed as dichotomous as the institution itself.

SpyCo had recently learned of a plan by an Indianapolis woman to find out how to dispose of the world's most recent scourge, tangible hubris and related substances. Unfortunately, a certain level of self-importance was often required for such an undertaking and the personnel at SpyCo surmised this woman would suffer from hubris before stopping it. Rapunzel Archback entered the main conference room for a briefing with the agents who had made the discovery.

"She and three men are on their way to Goofy Ridge, Illinois to find a disposal method for the tangible hubris muck," said a small blond agent who looked like a little girl and received approximately that level of respect from her colleagues.

"This has been done before," said Rapunzel Archback, "Wasn't it a few years ago that someone tried that?"

"One of our operatives tried it two years ago," said a grey-haired man who had been working for the government in some capacity for his entire adult life.

"And what happened?"

"Never heard from again, presumed dead," intoned the baby-faced blond.

"So not only do we not know if they'll be successful, we don't even know if the answers they need are there."

"That's correct," said the venerable man.

Rapunzel Archback hated it when agents spoke in turns.

"This isn't a bloody movie," she said, "Agent Towers, you talk. "

The venerable man continued and the youthful blond looked chagrined. After a few moments, Archback stopped Towers in mid-sentence.

"I don't want to say this story is uninteresting," she said, "but my main concern here is your recommendation. What do you think we should do about this?"

Agent Towers shrugged.

"And how about you, Ms. Longweed?"

"Clearly, we need this information," she said, tentatively, "but Agent Towers and I torn about this case. What we'd really like to do is beat them to this if there really is anything to be learned at Goofy Ridge. But that appears unlikely as they're so close and we don't have an agent any closer than Chicago. So the dilemma is, do we help them get this essential information, do we hinder them in the hopes of getting it ourselves, or do we do nothing?"

"The last option is out," said Archback. "Get an agent from Chicago to Goofy Ridge as soon as possible. I don't see it as intrinsically harmful if this woman obtains crucial information, but if she does, we need to know too. We'll monitor them for the time being, see what, if anything, we can learn."

It seemed like such a simple and obvious decision to Rapunzel Archback, yet neither Towers nor Longweed seemed confident enough to make it. That must have been why they kept her around.